Captain Willy Sparrow or Mr Jack Wonka?
by pebbles1234
Summary: What would happen if our favorite captain switched bodies with our favorite chocolatier? Utter chaos.
1. Our journey begins

Captain Willy Sparrow or Mr. Jack Wonka?

**I do not own Pirates of the Carribean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. **

**If this story resembles any others' it is purely coincidental.**

Strange things have happened on February twenty ninth. An extra day, one that can change many things, including the course of ordinary life.

Captain Jack Sparrow has not changed much since the last time we saw him. He is sitting in his cabin looking over a map, trying to place an inconspicious dot to identify Isle De Muerta.

Mr Willy Wonka has not changed much either. He is sitting down to an early lunch with his favorite family, the Buckets.

Life was going good for two of our favorite men, until they encountered a bit of a glitch that dramatically changed both of their lives.

Everyone knows the power of 11:11. And combine the time of 11:11 with the date of February twenty ninth, and you better prepare yourself for something quite... unusual.

Captain Sparrow just found where to put his dot, and Mr Wonka was just about to try a piece of ham for the first time when something strange happens.

A sudden storm comes to the Black Pearl, the candles blow out and Captain Sparrow finds himself in utter darkness.

A lighting bolt struck the factory, and caused the power to go out. The Buckets freeze in their places, and Willy has a very unnecessary flashback.

The sun rises on the Pearl, and Captain Jack squints at the newfound light. He looks down and drops the quill in his hand.

The lights come back on for the Buckets and everyone gives a sigh of relief. Everyone, that is, except for one Mr Wonka, who looks around and yells expletives, while Mr Bucket covers young Charlie's ears.

You see, Mr Wonka is not Mr Wonka anymore, because he is Captain Sparrow, and Captain Sparrow isn't Captain Sparrow anymore because he's Mr Wonka.

I told you to beware of that extra day. Now these two men will have to learn to live each other's lives. In a very interesting way.


	2. Poor Willy, I mean Jack

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 2

Poor Mr Wonka, I mean Jack

"What am I doing here?" He looked around, "With you?" He looked at his attire, "Wearing this?" He stood up from his chair and opened his arms expectantly.

Young Charlie Bucket spoke to his mentor first, "Mr Wonka, you are in our house which is in your factory. We are you family or sorts, and you always wear that."

Jack held out his arm and crinkled up his nose. "I don't know who you think I am, but I am not said Mr Wonka. I am Captain Jack Sparrow boy, the most fearsome pirate in the Spanish main." He liked that title given to him by one Miss Elizabeth Swann.

Charlie was used to strange behavior from Willy, but this was too strange, even from him. "Maybe you should go lie down." "I don't need to lie down, savvy? I need to find me bleedin' ship! And change these bleedin' clothes."

Each of the Buckets looked at each other hoping the other had an idea to calm down their dear benefactor. Jack started to stroke his face in contemplation, and noticed two things, lack of facial hair and plastic purple gloves.

He held his hand out and then curved his fingers into his palm, which gave a squeak. He then remembered what his appearance could be. He immediately turned his attention to Mrs Bucket.

"Luv, could you fetch me a looking glass?" Jack looked at her and smiled in his ever so charming fashion. Except he was smiling using Willy Wonka's face, and it came out very contrived.

It was then the Buckets realized that Mr Wonka was not going through a spell, he was not Mr Wonka at all.

Mrs Bucket looked at her husband who gave her a reassuring nod. So, with a sigh she went in search of what is commonly known as a mirror. "That's a good lass." Jack said, watching Mrs Bucket leave.

Mr Bucket thought about telling this man that his wife was not a 'lass', or 'luv', but he thought better or it.

Jack had started to sway around the small, crooked house and open all the cabinets. "Ye have any rum, mate?" Jack looked to Mr Bucket, who was rather taken aback by all this.

His question was answered by Grandpa George. "Rum? Who are you? You good for nothing..." Mr Bucket once again lays his hands on Charlie's ears, and we too, can not make heads or tails of what Grandpa George says. Which is probably for the best.

"Grandpa." Mr Bucket chided. He crossed his arms and didn't apologize for his indiscretion. Jack opened his eyes wide and looked at the old man. Just then Mrs Bucket returned with the mirror.

"Here you go Mr Sparrow." She said handing the mirror to him. "Captain, luv, and thank you." He took the mirror, and slowly held it up to his face.


	3. Ewwness

**I do not own Pirates of the Carribean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 3

Ewwness

Captain Jack Sparrow or rather Mr Willy Wonka looked at the hand from which he had dropped the quill and uttered one solitary word, "Ew."

He looked around the cabin and found a mirror hanging on the wall. He cautiously walked up to it and mustered the courage to look into it. His eyes grew wide as he took in every feature. He noted that he looked somewhat like himself, but he was so... dirty.

"Captain." Willy had no idea whose body he was inhabiting so he had no idea he was indeed the Captain. "Captain?" The voice became louder and was accompanied by a knock.

Willy slowly went over to the door and unbarred it. He opened the door a crack and peered out to find a dirty older pirate. "Ah, Yeah?"

"We've landed in Tortuga, Captain." Mr Wonka searched his brain but could not remember any such place. "Yeah, okay. Umm.. Do you have like a?" He couldn't think of the right word for a bath tub. He knew he was not in his time, and he was on a ship.

"A washtub?" He was proud of himself for coming up with a fitting word. "You want to bathe Captain?" The older man asked. "Yeah, and right now." "Aye aye." With that the older man, whom we know to be Gibbs, left in search of a tub.

Mr Willy Wonka was very beside himself, he had no idea where, or more importantly who he was. And where was he, or his body. Was the rogue whose body he was inhabiting, inhabiting his? The thought turned his stomach.

What would become of his dear Buckets without him there? And he was no Captain. Mr Wonka decided one thing then and there, he had to get home.

Mr Gibbs came in the room with a tub of steaming water in tow. Mr Wonka smiled at the idea of becoming clean. "Soap?" Gibbs looked utterly surprised. "Soap Captain?" "Yeah, and new clothes, kay?" Willy hoped he had a lot of power aboard this boat.

"What type of clothes Captain?" Mr Wonka thought for a moment, "Purple ones." Gibbs looked even more astonished. It was at that moment, Willy realized he felt incredibly short. "And a really tall hat, kay?"

"I need the soap first, very important. And a towel." Gibbs nodded and left the room. Willy occupied himself with looking around the room and noticing a very large map. He then went back to the looking glass and noticed his matted hair and braided beard.

He thought long and hard about shaving. But then he thought if he ever encountered the rogue, the rogue would most assuredly kill him, and blood was just so messy.

"Here's your soap and towel Captain. If it's the same to you, I'm gonna send Anamaria after your clothes." "Okey dokey." He took the towel and soap, but made a point not to touch Mr Gibbs. "Thank you. You may go now." Willy would have smiled his perfect teeth smile, but it just turned out to be a lot of gold.

Gibbs nodded and left. Willy barred the door behind him and looked around before he undressed and began to bathe. He just had to get out of here. Then he remembered he forgot to ask that old man for gloves. "Gosh darn it."

He had just finished his bath when a knock came on the door and a woman's voice was heard behind it. "Captain, I have your clothes." Willy did not want to be receiving clothes from a woman, he was only half covered, but he was not about to put those vile things back on. He slowly went to unbar the door.


	4. The mirror does not lie, Unfortunately

**I do not own Pirates of the Carribean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 4

The Mirror does not lie, Unfortunately

Jack ever so slowly lifted the mirror to his face. His eyes grew wide and he stuck his tongue out to make sure it was really him. When he finally realized the pale, hairless face was indeed his, he swallowed hard and handed the mirror back to Mrs Bucket.

"Thank ye love." He stood there for a second, than ran out the door with his hands waving wildly. Charlie looked at his parents, who shrugged, than he went to follow Jack.

"Captain Sparrow, wait!" Jack stopped on the little bridge of the chocolate room and turned around to face Charlie.

"Are you quite all right?" "No. I was in me ship, and everything was peachy, then everything went dark, and when I could see again, I was here. Savvy?"

Charlie was trying to figure out in his young head what exactly happened. "You were in a ship?" "On me ship. My ship. The Black Pearl. The fastest ship in the Caribbean." Jack never missed an opportunity to boast.

Since Charlie was a good boy, he tried to care about this man's ship, but all he really wanted was Mr Wonka back. "And then you were here?" "That's what I said boy." He noticed that whoever inhabited his friend's body used frequent hand gestures, which constantly caused him to squeak.

Jack was getting more and more nervous. Being here didn't bother him that much, but not looking like him, bothered him quite a lot. He was pale for crying out loud, and hairless. Except for that ridiculous haircut. He wondered what Gibbs would think, and smiled at the thought.

Jack had to do something about his appearance. "Do I have a room boy?" "Yes, you do." Jack waited for a second while Charlie just stood there. "Well, can you show me to the bloody thing?"

Charlie was not used to language of this sort coming from Mr Wonka, but then he remembered he wasn't Mr Wonka.

"Of course, follow me." Charlie walked a few paces and stopped. Jack continued walking, and walked straight into a very strong pane of glass. Charlie gave a worried look as Jack fell backwards onto the floor.

"I don't think I deserved that." He said as he attempted to get up. Which did not work very well, because he fell promptly on his dairy aire. "A little help boy?" Charlie helped him up and watched as Jack refocused his eyes. "What is that?"

"A glass elevator." "Oh." He narrowed his eyes, "A glass what?" "Elevator. It is a means of transportation." "Like a ship?" "In a way, I suppose." "How does it work?" "Well," Charlie pressed a button to open the door.

"You step into it," Charlie did so as Jack stayed where he was looking quite frightened. Charlie took his hand and pulled him into it. "And press a button and it takes you to where you want to go."

Charlie pressed the button to go to Willy's room and Jack made the horrible mistake of looking down. "Hold on Captain." Jack grabbed a strap above him and tightly closed his eyes.

"We are here." Charlie stepped out and escorted Jack into Willy's room. Jack looked around and opened his mouth in surprise.


	5. Anamaria and weird clothes

**I do not own Pirates of the Carribean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 5

Anamaria and weird clothes

Willy went to the door and stuck his hand through the crack he made to receive his clothes, but Anamaria would have none of it.

"What's wrong with ye, Captain? You've never been timid before." She shoved her way into the room, which caused Willy to flee to behind the bed.

Anamaria walked over to him. "Can you leave the clothes there please?" Willy did not want her to came any closer, he was just getting over his Chiraptophobia, or touchaphobia depending on what mood seizes you.

"What's the matter Captain, are ye ill?" Willy was thinking of every was possible to get rid of her. How did this 'Captain' behave anyway? He had women in his room often? The thought scared Willy half to death.

"Yeah, can you leave the clothes there, on the desk?" He was still crouching behind the bed, looking at the woman with fearful eyes.

"I'm staying in here until you tell me what's the matter with ye." "I'm fine, kay? Now, leave the clothes, and leave." "You have never wanted me to leave before." She got this strange look in her eyes and came closer, Willy gave out a little shriek. Did she eat some chocolate?

Willy had no idea what to do, he had never been in this situation before. Well, there was Mrs Beaugerard, but there were other people around then.

Well, he was the Captain wasn't he? He tried to make his voice deep and powerful, "Get out woman, or I'll make ye walk the plank." He smiled at his endeavor, but unfortunately so did Anamaria.

"Come now Captain, how are ye going to make your best sailor walk the plank?" Willy was sweating now, and he realized he was going to have to take another bath. This angered him.

"I insist that you leave this cabin immediately." She looked somewhat taken aback and deposited the clothes on the desk as he asked. He gave a sigh of relief as she closed the door behind her.

He got up and went to inspect the bath water, "Ew." The water was black with dirt. He thought better of it and went to put on the clothes that woman brought him.

The shirt was indeed purple, but it only buttoned halfway and Willy felt completely and utterly exposed. He searched around the room for something to hold the top of the shirt together.

He came across a broach in a drawer and wondered what a Captain would be doing with that. He shrugged, and although it wasn't his famous 'W', it served its purpose quite well.

Willy gathered the material around his neck and pinned it together. He felt much better. He then went to the trousers, which were black, but fit quite nicely. He put on the shoes that were also brought to him, but noticed the lack of a hat.

Willy had not felt so short since his childhood and felt he was in dire need of a tall hat. He hated going out there to face that woman, she was weird after all. But he had no choice, he could not feel short.

Willy took a deep breath, and walked to the door. He opened it, and the bright Tortuga sun welcomed him. He released his breath and took a step outside.


	6. Color and a Pirate

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 6

Color and a Pirate

We all know that Mr Willy Wonka has rather strange, if not exotic tastes. His room reflected that in no uncertain terms.

Jack looked around at the room he was standing in. The walls were striped with every color in the rainbow. The furniture was overstuffed, plush purple velvet. Jack took off a glove and went over to touch the fabric; he noticed one thing only, it was expensive.

Jack turned to look at Charlie, completely forgetting about his appearance for the moment. "I own this place, ay?" Charlie was somewhat taken aback, this man was becoming a wee bit too comfortable for his liking.

"Mr Wonka does, yes." "Mr Wonka, right." Jack took off the other glove and threw them on the floor. He looked around and liked what he saw. Granted, he was not on his ship, but whoever this man was, he lived like a king.

Captain Sparrow knew he would long for his ship, it was his love and life after all. But if Captain Sparrow knew how to do anything, it was to live in the moment.

Charlie noted how this man looked at his future factory and decided it would be best to divert his attention back to how he looked; for it was obvious, even to a boy Charlie's age, Jack Sparrow did not like what he saw.

"Did you want to find some new clothes?" Jack stopped gawking at the grandeur that was Mr Wonka's room and turned his attention back to the boy. "I need much more than clothes lad, to resemble the handsome scallywag I did before, savvy?" He swayed over and picked up a picture of Willy and his dad.

Jack took a long hard look at what he looked like now and decided to try and put his pirating ways on the back burner. He had a reputation to salvage. Captain Jack Sparrow could not walk around looking so... girly. But then, the egotistical pirate thought of something else.

"How do you capture people's looks so well in a piece of parchment?" "What?" He handed the photo to Charlie. "This is a photograph, it captures the moment." "How?" "I do not know exactly."

Jack stood there for a moment wondering if he cared that he didn't know so many things about this man's place. He didn't.

"You said something about clothes?" Charlie was relieved, "Yes, Mr Wonka's closet is over here." Charlie walked over and opened the door. Jack rubbed his hands together and followed him.

There were rows after rows of black shirts, black pants and purple tailcoats. Charlie had learned well from his Father, he took one look at the Captain and covered his ears. When he could see his lips were no longer moving, he slowly put his hands down back to his sides.

"You have any shops around here, son?" Shops meant two things to Jack, better clothes and alcohol. Two things he felt he was in dire need of.

"Yes, we do. But Mr Wonka hardly ever leaves the factory." Charlie could see the chaos in his head, Mr Wonka and the general public were doomed to be a horrid combination.

"Good thing I'm not Mr Wonka than ay?" Charlie looked really worried and started to protest, but Jack was already headed to the elevator, but he was cut short by someone who was rather short himself.


	7. Tortuga and Old Friends

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 7

Tortuga and old friends

Willy stepped into the sun to find either that old dirty man, or that young, weird woman. He automatically shut his eyes, but when he reopened them, he found that he could stand the natural brightness. Then he remembered he wasn't him anymore.

That thought made him sad, but reminded him of his purpose. He cautiously walked a few steps and looked towards the town. Willy shrunk back from the sight, wondering if this was indeed a good idea.

The town was anything but inviting. Nothing like his chocolate room at the factory. Men were running around everywhere drinking and chasing women. And it wasn't even nighttime. "This situation is really beginning to bum me out."

He took yet another deep breath and started to walk towards the dock. He was stopped short by an old man with a parrot on his shoulder.

Willy was not used to animals of any sort, and to him this parrot was really creepy. He sort of gasped, then quickly gathered himself together.

"Good morning, do you know where I could get a really tall hat, and gloves?" The old man, whom we know as Mr Cotton, just stared at him.

Mr Wonka was not accustomed to this type of rudeness, then he thought the man might be deaf, so he signed his request in Oompa Loompa language. Mr Cotton just continued to stare.

The parrot, however, thought this an opportune time to put his two cents in. "Wind in the sails." Willy jumped back and then laughed nervously, "What a weird bird." He was secretly entertaining ideas of making candy out of it.

Mr Wonka realized he was getting nowhere with this man, so he pardoned himself and continued to walk towards the docks. This time there were no interruptions.

Willy soon found himself among the residents of Tortuga. He was far from pleased. He looked nervously around in hopes of finding one of his two acquaintances. When he could not see either, he thought it would be best to wait for them on the ship.

Just as he turned around, someone grabbed his shoulder. A million thoughts raced through his mind, the most prominent one being, 'This person better have been introduced to a bath.'

He turned around to face his captor, "Yeah?" It was a young, pretty girl, who looked nothing like the other women running around here. "Captain Jack Sparrow?" Willy had no idea.

"Ah, yeah?" "What are you wearing?" "Clothes." "And you're so clean." Willy was at a loss for words, she was still touching him, and he was only on step three of the twelve step program for Touchaphobia.

"Let me go, kay?" The young woman slowly released him and watched as he straightened his sleeve. He took a step back and looked at her, she was fairly clean. For that he was exceedingly thankful.

"Can I help you?" She just continued to stare at him confused, "Will and I came down here to see you, we need your help." "Okey dokey." Willy had no idea who she was, but he decided he rather be in the company of this clean woman and her friend than anyone else on this god forsaken spit of land.


	8. An Oompa Loompa and Rum

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 8

An Oompa Loompa and Rum

Jack shied away from the little man in front of him. He crinkled up his nose and drew up his brow and turned to Charlie, "What is that?"

"He is an Oompa Loompa, they are the workers in the factory." "Where do they come from?" "Loompaland." "I have been all over the world boy, and I have never heard of said place."

Charlie remembered how Mr Wonka responded to Mr Teavee when he said there was no Loompaland. He thought that might not be the best response for Captain Sparrow.

"It is a remote place. Very small according to Mr Wonka." He looked down, Charlie Bucket was a bad liar. Jack knew the boy was not telling the truth, he was very observant, but he decided not to care at that moment.

"Loompaland?" Charlie slowly nodded as Jack addressed the small man in front of him. "Hello, mate." The Oompa Loompa cocked his head in both directions and looked at Charlie.

Charlie signed something to the man and he nodded and walked off. It was then Captain Sparrow decided to care.

"You shouldn't do something your bad at lad, lying doesn't suit you." Charlie looked up to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry. Truth be told, I don't know where Loompaland is either."

"Aye, should we go to town then?" Jack got the wild gleam in his eyes he had when he was headed for Tortuga. My how he loved that place. Women and rum. This wild gleam in his violet eyes frightened Charlie, he wondered what he was in for.

"What exactly did you need?" He knew that was much too excited a look for simply clothes. "Do you always question your elders boy?" Charlie hardly ever questioned his elders. But this man reminded him of a child.

"No." "Good. Lets go." Jack held his hands in front of him to find the elevator. He did so and felt for the button Charlie pushed. He found it and pushed it in. The doors opened, allowing them entrance.

Jack stepped in the elevator and waited for Charlie to follow. "Coming lad?" Charlie hesitantly walked in. "What's your name boy?" "Charlie Bucket." "Short for Charles?" Charlie did not know if that was his full name or not. "I don't know."

"You don't know what your name is?" "Charlie." "Your full name." "Charlie Bucket." Captain Sparrow rolled his eyes, exasperated by this young boy. "All right lad, get us out of here."

Charlie pressed the 'up and out' button. The elevator made a wonderfully loud noise and went up and up, picking up speed as it went. Charlie looked at Jack and noticed he was rather green.

"Are you well?" "I am used to going side to side, not up and down, savvy?" Charlie simply nodded. Once they had gone through the old hole and were hoovering above the factory, Charlie asked a very important question.

"Where did you want to go, Captain?" Jack looked all around him, and could not see a tavern anywhere. "Wherever people go to," He paused and looked at the boy next to him, "Have fun."

"Not a clothing store?" Jack looked at himself, "You make a good point lad, we'll go get some clothes, and then you'll show me where people... have fun." Jack's idea of fun was a far cry from young Charlie's. But as always, he had a plan.

Charlie did not think this whole town thing was the best idea. Due to the lack of discretion of four unnamed children and their respective parents, the entire world knew what Mr Willy Wonka looked like.

Charlie gave one last look to his old friend, who simply stared at him with agitated eyes. "What's wrong boy?" "Nothing." Charlie shrugged and started to guide the elevator towards Bart's clothes shop.


	9. Will and Willy

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 9

Will and Willy

"Shall I lead the way?" Willy looked once more at the girl standing in front of him. "Yeah." She started walking and he followed at a respectable distance.

She stopped in front of a tavern and he almost ran into her. She sort of reminded him of his elevator. He giggled at his comparison of a woman and an elevator.

Elizabeth looked at him strangely, "Are you quite all right?" "No." He laughed nervously. The hot Tortuga sun was getting to him.

"Will and I rented a room for a few nights, we can talk in there." "Kay." She opened the door to the tavern and they were greeted by scantily clad women and drunks.

"Ew." Willy stopped in the doorway. "I am not going in there kay? I worked far too hard to make myself resemble a clean person and then to go in there and ruin it? Ew, I don't think so."

This was not the Captain Elizabeth knew and tolerated. She had to get Will. "Well, you can wait out here and I could get Will."

Mr Wonka was agitated to say the very least. He was outside, where it was sunny and bright. Although his eyes easily adjusted to this he felt his eyeballs could burn right out of their sockets. Not having his goggles on made him nervous. Many things made him nervous actually.

Like the fact he was sweating, and finding himself dirtier and dirtier. Everyone wanted to touch him, and there were no bathrooms.

"Is your room dirty?" She looked insulted, "No, it is not." "Okay." Willy thought for a moment. He had to choose the lesser of two evils.

Run through the crowd and risk touching one of these people, or stay out here in the bright, hot, making me perspire, sun? He chose the former.

"I will go with you. But we have to hurry. Because I really don't want to accidently brush up against one of these," Willy hesitated and looked around, "People. Kay?"

Elizabeth nodded and pushed her way through the crowd, making a way for Mr Wonka. An action for which he was exceedingly grateful.

When they had reached the top of the stairs, she knocked and then opened the door. Willy saw a rather young man sitting at a table looking over a piece of paper.

"Hello, Jack." Will came over and extended his hand. Willy put his hand out, thought better of it, extended his fingers, then retracted them into his palm. "Hello." He attempted to smile.

Will bent over to Elizabeth and whispered in her ear. She shook her head and focused her attention back to Mr Wonka.

"Jack, we were wondering if we might go aboard with you on the Pearl." Willy made his way over to the bed, pulled his sleeve over his hand, brushed it off and sat down.

"Okay." They looked to each other in utter confusion. "Don't you want to know why?" Will asked. "I don't see how it really matters." Willy took in the decor, and thought it left a lot to be desired.

"What are you wearing Jack?" It took Will Turner quite a long time to notice his friends' apparel. Mr Wonka had heard enough about his clothes.

"You know, you really shouldn't mumble. I've had bad experiences with mumblers, kay?" "I didn't mumble." "What? You really should stop that. I can not understand a single word."

Will was becoming agitated. Willy would have walked off to avoid confrontation, but he had no where to go. "Jack, I did not mumble."

Mr Wonka just sat there, tapping his fingers on his knees. "I said I did not mumble." Will was yelling and Elizabeth punched him in the shoulder. "Ow." Willy laughed.

Will was just about to draw his sword for a very unnecessary fight when he saw Jack did not have his effects. "You're not Jack are you?"


	10. The Captain's New Clothes

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 10

The Captain's New Clothes

Jack's plan was to get rid of Charlie. He planned to go into the clothing store, pick up a few things he needed, slip out the back entrance, and find some women and rum. If there was no back entrance, he had an alternate plan. He was of course, none other than Captain Jack Sparrow.

Little Charlie Bucket took another look at the Captain and sighed. He really missed Mr Wonka. How was he going to get him back?

They parked the elevator to the side of the shop. Charlie got out first and looked around. He was very relieved to see there were no people.

He cautiously led the way to the front of the shop, and stopped in front of the door. Jack swayed up beside him, "What are you waiting for boy, open the door." Charlie shook his head and did so, this man was becoming increasingly more annoying.

Jack swayed in and was followed by Charlie. "Good afternoon Charlie. How is your family?" "Good afternoon Mr Green, they are fine thank you." "Who is your friend?"

Mr Green, or Bart, was the owner of the men's clothing store. He was a jolly old man, friendly, and always kind.

"This is Mr Wonka." "Mr Wonka, of course." Mr Green knew exactly who the man with the abnormal haircut was, he just wanted to be formally introduced. He extended his hand.

Jack took it and shook it in piratey fashion. He had to keep himself from saying 'Agreed.' "I need some new clothes mate, do you think you could help?"

"I think I might have something here. What exactly were you looking for?" "Well, something" Jack had a very hard time coming up with the right words to describe the look he was going for.

"Loose, and roguish." "Roguish?" "Yeah." Jack was very pleased with himself for coming up with such a fitting word. "Define roguish."

"You're the shop owner mate, you figure it out." "Please excuse his temper, Mr Green, he is not himself today." Charlie whispered in the direction of Mr Green. He nodded and looked at Jack.

"Would you like to look for yourself?" Jack half smiled and made his way through the rows of clothes, looking for a back door all the while.

Charlie started noticing a crowd forming and the people were peering and pointing in the windows. He knew this was not going to be good.

He walked over to where Jack was looking at a white shirt. "Captain Sparrow, If we want to go back to the factory in one piece, I suggest we leave now." Jack had not found his back way yet.

"You go on ahead boy, I'll meet you at that contraption, savvy" "I do not think that would be the best idea." "Are you always going to question me?" "You haven't any money." "I don't have a tab?"

"Mate?" Mr Green looked at Jack, "Yes Sir?" "Can I pay for these later?" "Of course, I know you are more than good for it." "Thanks very much."

"See lad, now you go on ahead like a good boy, and I'll meet you there." Charlie had this really bad feeling, "But Captain, the crowd." He pointed his finger towards the window. "Go boy."

Charlie slowly did as he was told. He tried to persuade the people outside that the man inside was not Mr. Wonka. That did not go so well. The littlest Bucket made his way to the elevator.

Jack picked out a pair of tan pants, grabbed the shirt, and made his way towards Mr Green. "You have a back way out of here? Want to avoid the crowd you know." He inclined his head towards the window.

"Yes, I do. Go behind that screen and you will see a half door. You will have to crawl, but you can get out." "Thank you mate." Jack smiled his now perfect smile and went behind the screen.

Captain Sparrow quickly changed his clothes, and went out through the half door. He breathed in the foggy air and coughed. Once his fit was over, he relished in the fact he was free.


	11. Mumbler!

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 11

Mumbler!

Willy looked surprised. "What?" Will was becoming very irate. "Jack always has his effects, who are you?"

"I'm afraid I can't take anymore of your constant mumbling. Besides the whole mumbling thing, I am a trifle deaf in both ears. So you're really going to have to speak up."

"I AM NOT MUMBLING!" "Yeah, whatever." Elizabeth gently tried to calm Will down. Mr Wonka just wanted to get back home. At first he thought keeping his newfound identity to himself would be the best idea. Now he thought maybe, just maybe, these two could help.

Will took a deep breath and turned to the man sitting on his bed. "Okay, I'm sorry I was mumbling." "Okay, then."

Willy was trying to think of a way to ask for help without revealing he wasn't Jack. But Elizabeth interrupted his thoughts.

She sat down right next to him. He politely moved away. "I won't get a disease, I won't get a disease, I won't get a disease, I won't get a disea..."

"Jack?" She interrupted his mantra. (Step two of the twelve step program.) "Yeah?" "Are you sure you're all right?"

"No. I am not Jack. My name is Mr Willy Wonka, the amazing chocolatier, Willy Wonka everybody give a cheer." He was very proud of the song he wrote for his singed puppets to sing, and he used it whenever a moment presented itself.

He quickly covered his mouth in realization that he just revealed everything. "Willy Wonka?" "Yeah." "What's a chocolatier?"

"I make chocolate, little girl, loads and loads of chocolate, and other candy too. Like square candies that look round, ice cream that never melts and bubble gum that can be blown to enormous sizes. And everlasting gobstoppers. They never get smaller." He laughed nervously.

Once Mr Wonka began to talk about his beloved factory, he just couldn't stop. Did he just call that woman 'little girl'? He quickly smiled at her. Her and Will exchanged looks. She got up and went to stand beside her love.

"Mr Wonka?" He looked at her, "How did you get here? And why are you in Jack's body." He explained about the lights and they looked on with amazement and a hint of amusement.

"You come from a chocolate factory?" "That's what I just said young man, you really should listen better you know. Didn't your..." He couldn't say the word. Although he reconciled with his own Father, it was still very hard for Mr Wonka to blatantly say 'parents.' So as he often did, he went to another thought entirely.

"Well, you should really just listen." Will flared his nostrils and sat back in his chair. He had a very hot temper, and this man was getting on his last nerve.

"Well, Mr Wonka, do you have any idea how to get back?" Elizabeth felt she and Will really needed Jack, not some quack who had a cleanliness issue. Unless he was Jack and he just went insane. No, stranger things have happened than people switching bodies. She would know.

"If I did, then I wouldn't be here now would I young lady?" He decided young lady and young man would be a bit better than little girl and little boy.

"Well, do you want to go back to your, I mean..." Before Miss Elizabeth Swann could finish her statement a less than adequately dressed brunette burst into the room.


	12. Ahh, rum at last

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 12

Ahh, Rum at last

Captain Jack Sparrow was free and in search of rum. He found himself missing his ship and his crew however.

But, as always, he didn't dwell on that. He walked out from behind the building and made a mental note of his surroundings. The crowd, and undoubtedly Charlie, were still waiting for him to leave Bert's clothing store.

Jack looked at those people and inwardly smiled. "Poor blokes." Although the majority of the crowd were of the female persuasion, Jack never let his favorite words go unused.

He silently walked across the street and peered in the windows of the shops. He saw what he was looking for, a tavern, or at least a modern version.

Jack walked in and breathed in deeply. It smelt like home, or Tortuga. Both were comforting. Jack walked up to the bar and sat on a stool.

"Can I help you sir?" "I'll have a pint of your best rum mate." "Just a second." The bartender studied Jack's face, "You're that Wonka fellow aren't you?" "If I was would it get me my rum faster?"

The man instantly frowned and went to fulfill Captain Sparrow's request. Jack looked around him. The place was oddly empty. "How do you stay in business?"

"By serving rich drunks." The man plopped Jack's rum in front of him. "Very funny mate." Jack waited for the man to walk off and then took a good long sip of his rum.

"Ahh." The bartender filled Jack's cup three times before the Captain felt quenched. Than he got up and left, without paying mind you, which did not go unnoticed by the bartender.

Before Jack knew it, men in uniform were following him. He was used to this situation, so he did what he always did, he ran.

With his arms waving wildly, Captain Sparrow ran like he never did before. Of course he ran from law figures frequently, but never in a strange place in a strange body.

Luck must have not been on Captain Sparrow's side, because he ran straight into a policeman. "Hello mate. Nice Shirt."


	13. Ow!

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 13

Ow!

"Jack Sparrow! I wondered when you were going to show your face in town again." Willy chuckled and slowly got up and then quickly ran behind the bed.

"Yeah, whatever I did to you, I'm really sorry kay?" The brunette was having none of it. The refuge Willy found was disturbed when the woman easily moved the bed.

Mr Wonka was completely imitated by this. He crinkled up his nose and bit his bottom lip, then he ran behind Will. She couldn't move him. Could she?

"You can't hide that easily Jack Sparrow." Will was throughly enjoying this, now he could get revenge on this strange man.

He moved from his position in front of Willy. Mr Wonka made a mental note to call him Mumbler several more times.

Willy just stood there as the woman advanced. She stood directly in front of him, lifted her hand, and proceeded to slap him hard across the face.

Mr Wonka did not see that coming. He expected a confrontation, but not that. His head reeled from the blow.

"Ow. Now that was just rude. You really shouldn't go around slapping people, it's not conducive to a pain free atmosphere."

She raised her eyebrows, then her hand and slapped him again. "That was for my sister." Then she grabbed her skirt and huffed her way out.

Will doubled over in laughter, "You deserved that." Mr Wonka narrowed his eyes and stared at his newfound companion. Will saw the look and immediately stopped laughing.

"Mumbler, we are going to have to work through our problems. Because I really need to get home kay? Charlie must be worried sick."

"Charlie?" Elizabeth hoped to distract him."Yes, my successor. He is going to get my entire factory when I..." Mr Wonka could not come to terms with the fact he was not immortal. "Well, he's just gonna get the factory."

"Oh. Well, as I was going to say before, would you like to go aboard the ship and talk about how we are going to get you home?"

"Actually, I was hoping that you and your mumbler friend could help me find a hat and some gloves."

Will smiled about how this man was with concerning a hat, just like Jack. "Well, we are not too familiar with this town, but I'm sure we can find you something."

"Great, because I just feel so darn short without a hat. And I could really use some gloves, because I hate to have to touch things. Ew."

Elizabeth and Will shared a look. "All right, shall we leave then?" "Okay." "Will, you pay the landlord, and Mr Wonka and I will go into town." "Of course."

Actually Elizabeth just wanted to separate those two. She had a very bad feeling, she knew Will's temper, and it was easy to inflame.

"Well, Mr Wonka, do you want to lead the way?" "No, I'd rather you'd go first and push those...people put of the way. Kay?" "Um.. All right." Elizabeth was not used to requests like this, she was the governor's daughter after all, but she obliged.

Elizabeth pushed their way through the crowd and once they were back outside Willy took a deep breath.

Willy saw Anamaria walk up and he hid behind Elizabeth. That woman was just so weird. "Miss Elizabeth! What are you doing here?" "It is a long story. How are you?" "Fine, I need to take the Captain back to the ship to settle a dispute between two of the crew."


	14. Jail Sparrow

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 14

Jail Sparrow

Captain Jack Sparrow sat on the cold stone bench in the middle of two men; Rick and Bubba. Jack was used to men of these sorts, but these men were not used to a man who looked like Willy Wonka.

"What did a shrimp like you do to get in here?" This coming from the three hundred pound Bubba. Jack didn't think stealing rum sounded too intimidating.

"Making a man a eunuch." Both men crossed their legs in sympathy pain. "Is that a crime?" Jack turned his attention to the smaller Rick.

"I guess it is mate, it landed me in here didn't it?" "You look familiar." Jack sat back and rolled his eyes. "Are you that candy maker?" "What of it?"

"The press is gonna love this. Mr Willy Wonka in jail for making a man a eunuch." "Press?" "Yeah, your face is gonna be all over the papers." "Oh."

"Papers?" Bubba decided to take this one. "How long have you been locked up in that factory anyway? The newspapers, you know, what people read to stay informed of the days' happenings."

"What are you in here for mate?" "It's Bubba, and I robbed little old ladies of their purses." Jack normally got his plunder from people in more fortunate circumstances, but he wasn't there to judge.

"And you?" "My name's Rick by the way, and I'm in here for hitting my brother in the jaw. Never thought he'd press charges." "Why did you hit him?" "He told me my dog was sissy"

"What type of dog do you have?" "A miniature poodle." He smiled at the thought of his little Fifi. Captain Sparrow realized he was surrounded by morons.

"You two want to get out of here?" "Sure, but how do you plan on doing that?" "Well, I'll tell you Bubba. It's a simple matter of leverage. You pull on those bars over there with all your might and free us all, savvy?"

Jack knew fully well that no man could budge those bars, but he had hoped to create a diversion so he could quickly slip out while they were dealing with moron number one.

"I can't move those bars." "What's the harm in trying? Just give it a little pull ay?" Just as the less then adequately brain supplied Bubba was about to make his escape attempt, the warden came over.

"Willy Wonka, you're free to go." Jack got up and slapped each man on the back. "Sorry to have to leave you two gentlemen's company so soon."

The Warden opened the door and Jack swayed out. The man gave him a less than approving look. "Don't look so glum, mate, you still have those two in there." With a pat on the back he walked away from him and straight into the arms of a very disapproving trio.


	15. Apologies, sort of

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 15

Apologies, sort of.

Mr Willy Wonka cautiously stepped out from behind Elizabeth. "What are you doing Captain?"

Elizabeth turned and whispered to him, "She doesn't know?" "No, and I have absolutely no intention of telling her kay? That could just get messy. I mean, she's so weird." Elizabeth nodded and turned her attention back to Anamaria.

"I was talking to Elizabeth." He was thankful the weird girl said her name. "And Will." "Well, there's trouble aboard the Pearl, Cotton and Gibbs are at it again."

"Would I not be like myself if I said I didn't care?" The female pirate raised her brow quizzically, "Yes." "Okay then, lets go." "We should wait for Will."

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the mumbler." "You know I'm right behind you." Willy jumped two inches off the ground and shrieked.

"You really shouldn't do that little boy. You could scare a person to death." Mr Wonka changed his mind about calling him little boy. He thought it might annoy the mumbler. "Unfortunately it didn't work."

Mr Wonka raised his index finger, "You should be really glad I can't understand you, because if I could," Willy could not think of a good threat. What would the rogue do?

As Mr Wonka was trying to channel the man whose body he inhabited, Will got tired of waiting and started to walk towards the Pearl.

"Little boy? Don't walk away from me. Little Boy?" Mr Wonka was following him at a fast pace with Elizabeth and Anamaria on their trail. Will stopped and turned around. "I am not a little boy, or a Mumbler."

Willy pretended nothing had happened. "If I could I would make you walk the plank." He hoped it worked better with Will than the weird woman. It didn't. Will started laughing again. Elizabeth kicked him.

"Captain, we really need to go aboard the Pearl." "Okay. But the Mumbler can't join us." "What?" "It's my boat, and you can't come on it. Not until you apologize." Mr Wonka stood there with his arms folded across his chest. "Now say you're sorry."

"I will not." "Will, apologize to Jack." "Elizabeth..." She whispered something in his ear. His hard demeanor never changed, but he somehow was able to mutter those two fateful words, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Will was irate, but he took one look at Elizabeth's pleading brown eyes and complied. "For scaring you, for letting you fend for yourself with that woman, and laughing at you."

"And what else?" Will wasn't going to do it. He didn't say a word. "What else?" He knew he was going to get nowhere if he didn't say it. "For mumbling." Mr Wonka released his arms and smiled. "Okay, let's boogie."

Anamaria led the way as the foursome made their way to the Black Pearl. The sight before their eyes was quite a one to behold.


	16. Homeward Bound

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 16

Homeward Bound

Jack looked at the three Buckets, shrugged his shoulders and smirked. "Couldn't resist mate, luv, and lad." The trio just continued to stare at him.

"Well, are we just going to stand here, or should we go back to that thing and go back home." "It is not your home, Captain Sparrow."

"I know that luv, but considering I haven't the faintest idea how I got here, I think I can call it home for now ay?" Mrs Bucket sighed. "Perhaps you are right." "Get used to it lass."

The three walked out and into the elevator. "How you'd know where I was?" "When you took so long coming from Mr Greens', I thought it would be best to come to the station and see if they could help. They recognized you and told me you were here. Then I went back home to tell mom and dad."

"Smart lad." Jack really wished Charlie hadn't found him. He was Captain Jack Sparrow, after all, he would have escaped.

Charlie had no idea what he was going to do with this man once they were back to the factory. Maybe he would give him a project or something. Then Charlie had a wonderful idea.

"Do you miss your boat Captain?" Jack got a faraway look of longing on his face. "Ship lad, and yes I do." "I think there is something at the factory you might enjoy."

Charlie Bucket, was of course, referring to Mr Willy Wonka's pink, boiled sweet boat. He hoped this man did not have a short attention span.

"What?" "It's a surprise." "I don't like surprises boy, they interfere with plans." The littlest Bucket was very scared of this man's plans.

"You had plans?" Captain Sparrow took one look at the boy's face and laughed. "Don't worry boy, they're not destructive." For that, Charlie was exceedingly grateful.

"How is Mr Wonka going to straighten this whole thing out?" "I don't know dear, there's no telling." Mrs Bucket was very angry at this man for causing their benefactor trouble.

Jack overhead this conversation. It was inevitable; with four people inside a five by five square, things were bound to be public.

"You mean, this Wonka fellow has never had any fun?" "Not your type, Captain, no." "No need to get testy luv, so, what exactly does he do?"

"He makes candies." Charlie stuck up for Willy whenever possible. "That's all? No girls?" He thought of Will with the swords. He would have asked if he were a eunuch, if he were not inhabiting the man's body.

"No, none that we know of." "Why not?" Then he remembered his reflection. "Never mind."

When they landed in the factory, Charlie pressed the button to go to the beautiful room where his house was.

The Buckets and Jack stepped out of the elevator and stared at the pipes that were sucking up the chocolate. Several Oompas Loompas were working.

Mr and Mrs Bucket went inside their humble house. "What is it you wanted to show me boy?" Charlie called for one of the Oompa Loompa's and signed a request.


	17. Willy the Decider

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 17

Willy the Decider

Mr Gibbs and Mr Cotton were engaged in an epic arm battle. Each one locked in each other's gaze.

"They've been like this for over an hour Captain, we need you decide the winner." Mr Willy Wonka took one look at the two sweaty, dirty pirates and grimaced.

"Ew. Why?" "Because of you don't, they will never get back to their duties." "I don't care, okay?"

Anamaria lightly touched Willy's shoulder, he slunk back. "You have to decide, if not, they will go on like this until one or the other passes out."

Mr Wonka did not care the slightest bit, but he supposed the rogue would. "All right, fine." He walked over and stood three feet away from where the two pirates were battling.

"You can't throw me off with speaking so much Cotton." Willy raised his brow. "Enny minnie minney mo, catch a tiger by it's toe, if it hollars let him go, enny, minnie miney, mo."

His bare finger pointed to Mr Gibbs, "There, he's the winner kay? The entire crew looked at him funny. "What?" They all shrugged their shoulders and went back to wok.

"Well, that was easy. Now what were we going to do? Oh yeah, lets go get some gloves, and a hat."

Willy felt the presence of a body. He turned around to face the female pirate. "Go along now, shoo." "Are you sure your okay Captain?" "Yeah, goodbye." She shook her head and walked towards her cabin.

"Whew, she just doesn't get the concept of personal boundaries. Well, let's go." "Mr Wonka?"

"Yes, young lady?" "Do you not think it would be best to stay on the ship? Considering everything that's happened." Willy thought it over.

It did seem safer here, but it was no less dirty then the town. And the town did offer tallness and the possibility of not having to touch another thing, with his bare hands at least.

"No." He found Gibbs wondering around. "You!" "Yeah, Captain?" "I want you to clean my room while I'm gone kay? Make it sparkle. And also, I would like another tub of hot water. Very hot, and a new bar of soap. Oh yeah, and a clean towel. Very important." "Aye, aye Captain."

Mr Wonka looked from Elizabeth to Will, "Well, are you two just gonna stand there?" Elizabeth sighed and Will frowned, and they began their adventure into town.


	18. It ain't the Pearl

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 18

It ain't the Pearl

"What is that?" Captain Sparrow looked at the pink dragon like thing floating towards him.

"It's a boat." "Where's the keel, the hole, the deck, and the sails?" Charlie was not used to ship terminology. Jack went over to touch it.

Charlie was hoping for a better response from this Captain. "It floats." The littlest Bucket was rather fond of the boat.

"I'd say that was it's only redeeming quality." Jack gingerly stepped into it, and Charlie followed. All the Ommpa Loompa's looked at him.

"What are you staring at?" They laughed amongst themselves. "What's so funny?" Jack looked at himself, he looked rather good in his opinion, or as good as he could look, considering the circumstances.

As Jack sat there, he felt the chocolate sway the boat, and he smiled. The Pearl, his freedom. He wasn't with her, and he didn't know if he would ever be again. And for one of the few times in his life, the comical pirate Captain was somber.

Charlie Bucket looked at this man whom he had only moments ago disliked. His young heart was filled with sadness. However much of an imposition he was, he did not deserve to be so sad.

"Do you not like the boat Captain?" Captain Sparrow halfway smiled, "It was a nice gesture boy, but it is nothing like my ship."

"Do you know what a ship is?" Charlie did not know how to answer that so he shook his head. "It's freedom." Jack sighed and placed his chin in his hands.

Charlie had to do something to make this man happier. He thought. And then, by George, he got it. The invention room, that always made him happy.

"Would you care to see some things Mr Wonka and I have been working on?" "Why not?" Charlie spoke to the Ommpa Loompa in charge, and the boat began to move.

Captain Sparrow liked this thing better in motion. But the ride was all too short, for in less than one minute they were in front of the Inventing Room.

Charlie cautiously opened the door and motioned for Jack to follow. Captain Sparrow's eyes widened at the sight.

Everything around him was colorful, and nothing like he had ever seen before. Charlie was very proud of this room, and began telling the Captain everything that he and Mr Wonka had been working on.

"And these everlasting gobstoppers, you can suck them all the time and they never get any smaller. And this gum is an entire meal." Jack enjoyed watching the boy's zeal. It reminded him of Will and treasure, of any sort.

"...And this is some hair tonic Mr Wonka invented, for beatniks, you just take a little, and hair sprouts all over you." The pirate Captain smirked wildly. Only two words could describe what little Charlie was thinking at that moment, 'Oh (I know what your thinking, but this is innocent Charlie, not Captain Jack we're talking about) No.'


	19. Ideas and Girly Gloves

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 19

Ideas and Girly Gloves

Mr Wonka let the young Miss Swann lead the way into the dirty little town. She suddenly stopped in front of a women's clothing shop and looked at him.

"I don't think they sell men's gloves here." "So?" "If you want them, I think you are going to have to buy women's gloves."

Willy thought it over, for a man who liked to 'lock in moisture', he didn't like to wear women's clothing. Not in public anyway.

All Mr Wonka had to do to change his mind was take a look around the town. "I don't care. You go ahead and buy some. The mumbler and I will stay out here." Elizabeth did as she was told and disappeared into the shop.

"Are you ever not going to call me a mumbler?" "No." Will really felt like drawing his sword and challenging this man to a fight. But then he was unarmed, and there was no way Mr Wonka could win, unless he broke the rules of engagement, and Will had a thing about fair fighting.

Elizabeth came out with a pair of gloves in tow. "Here you are Mr Wonka." Willy took them from her, being careful not to touch her hand. The gloves were elbow length, white, dinner gloves, with pearls embroidered on them. They would look ridiculous to say the least.

Willy debated. He put them on carefully, remembering he was only on step three. Will took one look at the man who used to be his Captain and best friend.

The man who looked like Captain Jack Sparrow was wearing a purple shirt, pinned together with a broach, black trousers, and elbow length white dinner gloves. Will couldn't help himself, he laughed, and hard.

Elizabeth tried biting her lip, but she eventually succumbed to the bubbles rising in her throat. Mr Wonka stood there and stared at them both, he was not used to being the butt of a joke.

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth laughed, "It's not you." "Yes it is!" Will laughingly replied. Mr Wonka quietly walked over to him and slid his foot underneath Will's. Will fell directly on the ground, immediately stopping both his and Elizabeth's peals of laughter.

"Will! Are you alright?" Elizabeth asked as she helped him up. "Yes, I'm fine." He cocked his head and looked at Mr Wonka. "You tripped me." "I'm afraid you slipped. I've heard that it happens quite often when people have your problem." Will glowered, "And what exactly is my problem?" "Abnormally large feet of course."

Elizabeth felt she had to intervene. "Didn't you need a hat? I think I see a shop over there." "Oh good." He started walking in that direction, with Elizabeth and Will right behind. He stopped, waited for the couple to pass him, and then fell behind.

"I don't know how much more I can take Elizabeth." "I'm sorry Will, but I don't think there is that much we can do, after all, he is in Jack's body." "We could lock him in the brig until we figure out what to do." "Will!" "Just an idea."

An idea Mr. Willy Wonka was not too fond of. Will and Elizabeth whispered quietly, but not quietly enough. Although he complained of deafness quite often, Mr Wonka could hear very well.

The hat store was a pirate's dream, unfortunately it was a Chocolatier's nightmare. There were no top hats to be seen. Willy tried to think of the top hat's origin, and could only think of one place, London. If he was to be trapped here long, he would need a top hat. But, for the moment he would have to find one to do the trick.

He found one with a wide brim and a feather. It reminded Elizabeth of a certain other Captain. Once Will had paid, they were on the way to the ship once more, and Mr Willy Wonka knew exactly what he was going to do with the mumbler and the young lady.


	20. Of Hair and Pirates

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

**_Only five more chapters to go. Thanks to all of those who have read this little tale. The last five chapters are not nearly as fuuny, and for that I'm sorry. If you want to quit reading I completely understand. I tried to add humor where I could, but I thought that by now, the Pirate and the Candy Maker would have somewhat accepted their fate, and dealt with it accordingly. Thanks again to all my wonderful reviewers. And now, the beginning of the end. _**

Chapter 20

Of Hair and Pirates

"Well, Mr Wonka has not got the mixture exactly right." Charlie hoped to dissuade this man from using the tonic.

"What do you mean boy?" "Well, it goes a bit overboard. He tried it on an Oompa Loompa and he is completely covered in hair." "That's the look I was going for."

Jack walked over to where Charlie was standing and took the smallest swig of the concoction. It tasted of buttered rum, Captain Sparrow thought there might be some hope for this Wonka fellow after all.

Charlie stared at the change that was rapidly overcoming his friend. The light brown hair on his friends' hair grew long, and on his face there was a beard and a moustache. Surprisingly, the tonic did not have the same effect on Jack as it did the unfortunate Oompa Loompa.

Jack stroked his face and liked what he felt, than he ran his fingers through his hair and pushed it away from his face, and for the first time in many hours, Captain Sparrow felt like Captain Sparrow again.

"I think that did the trick lad. Thanks." Charlie sighed at the appearance of his friend. "Mr Wonka will not like this one bit." "He looks much better now." "I don't think that will be much consolation."

Charlie sat on the floor and placed his head between the palms of his hands. Jack plopped down next to him, cross-legged. He placed a well manicured hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"I don't know why this happened boy. But I think there is a reason for everything. Can't leave too much to chance you know."

"Do you think you will be changed back?" "I hope so." Jack thought about what this man could have done to his body. The thought scared him half to death. Yes, Captain Jack Sparrow could face skeletal pirates, Navy ships, Commodore Norrington, and many blows to his face. But he could not stand the thought of being girly.

Oh well, there was nothing he could do about it now. Besides he had a sad lad on his hands. A lad that had indeed been very helpful, if not a tad annoying. He tried to make the best of a bad situation.

"You want to show me around some more?" Charlie lifted his eyes to meet Jack's. "Sure." "Do you mind if we stop by my, Mr Wonka's room on the way?" "Of course."

Charlie and Jack went back out to the boat, and towards the elevator. Once they stepped on sugary land again, Mr and Mrs Bucket were there to greet them.

Mrs Bucket gave a little shriek. "It's okay, mom. We tried out the hair tonic." "Oh. What will Mr Wonka think?" "He'll think he can finally get a girl luv." He bent close to her, "Which is a fine goal to be sure, considering the only woman here above two feet is taken." He backed away to see the effect he had on a very married Mrs Bucket.

Mrs Bucket was not accustomed to having Mr Wonka, or any man for that matter flirt with her. So she did what any woman in Tortuga would do, she slapped him.

"I didn't deserve that." "Dear?" Mr Bucket looked at his wife with a smile dancing in his eyes. He felt if anyone deserved to be in pain it was one Captain Jack Sparrow.

Little Charlie didn't know what to think. He wondered why his parents were there in the first place. "Did you need something?"

"Yes, Charlie, it is your bed time." "Can I show Captain Sparrow to his room?" "Of course dear, then come right back." Mrs Bucket kissed the top of her sons' head, glared at Captain Jack and walked inside her little home with her husband right beside her.

"I didn't realize it was getting so late." Charlie said, pressing the button to open the elevator. "Nor did I." "I can give you the whole tour tomorrow if you like." "That'd be fine boy."

Jack was over the fact he was not himself anymore. He didn't know if he would ever be himself again. He would have to learn to live the life of a candy maker. He did have power, and loads of money. Even the Isle de Muetra could not compare to his wealth. But Jack did not have his love, his life, his freedom.

"Here we are." Jack left his thoughts and turned his attention to Charlie. He stepped out and opened the door to his room. Then Charlie Bucket did something he had always wanted to do to Mr Willy Wonka, he hugged him. Captain Sparrow patted the boy's back. Charlie backed away, "Good night Captain Sparrow." "Good night boy."


	21. To the Brig with Ye

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 21

To the Brig with Ye

Once they were back on the Pearl, Mr Willy Wonka felt he was in charge. After all, these dirty men, and woman, heeded to his every whim.

Willy was going to get the mumbler back. He heard his suggestion and liked it, but not for himself of course. After all, a brig, just sounded dirty.

Mr Wonka remembered the man who appeared to be second in command's name. "Mr Gibbs!" The older pirate came running.

"Yes Captain?" "I want you to put the Mumbler here in the brig, kay?" Elizabeth and Will looked horrified. Mr Gibbs looked confused.

"Bootstraps' son?" "Him." He pointed his finger to Will, noticed the overly feminine gloves, and curled his fingers into his palm, and was very dissatisfied to not have heard a squeak.

"But Cap'n." "My dear Mr Gibbs, will you please do as I say?" The old man shrugged and went over to Will, whose brown eyes were pleading for someone, anyone, to help him. "Sorry lad." Gibbs put Will's hands behind his back and led him below deck.

"Mr Wonka, I really must protest." Elizabeth Swann came storming over to him. "Look young lady, he's gonna be okay." "But what did he do?" "I think he suggested putting me in that thing, so I just beat him to it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bath to get too."

Miss Swann did not know what to do. Her and Will really did need Jack, and now there might be no chance to get him back, and she was in the company of an insane, if not inane, man.

Elizabeth stepped in front of him, as he was making his way to his cabin. It was beginning to get dark, and Willy felt it was rather close to his sleeping time.

"Mr Wonka, if you do not release Will this instant, I will tell everyone on this ship who you really are." Mr Willy Wonka may be comical, neurotic, and overly eccentric, but he was far from stupid. He knew Miss Elizabeth Swann was telling the truth.

He got that rare look in his eye. An almost evil, all knowing look. As if he knew which one was the right key all along. This look scared Elizabeth. She slowly began backing up as Mr Gibbs made his reappearance on deck.

"Mr Gibbs?" "Yes Cap'n?" "I think Miss Elizabeth here needs to rest." He leaned in as close to his ear as his touchaphobia would allow. "She isn't thinking quite right. Will you please escort her to a cabin and makes sure she stays there?" Mr Gibbs nodded as he made his way to Elizabeth.

"Wretch!" Elizabeth shouted as she was escorted to a cabin. He gave her one final smile. As he was walking to what he hoped was his freshly clean cabin he saw Anamaria. Who was rather horrified at the whole scene.

"You!" "Aye?" "Steer this thing to London." "London?" "Yeah, and now, kay?" For some odd reason Mr Willy Wonka felt better all around about his role as a pirate captain. He missed Charlie and the rest of the Buckets, the Oompa Loompas.,and of course his candies.

But he was coming to terms with the fact he might never get home. He had done nothing to bring him here in the first place, so how would he know how to get back? He didn't. So the cunning Mr Wonka had to adjust to his newfound life. And there was always Charlie to take care of the factory. Mr Willy Wonka, the famous chocolatier, sighed as he opened the door to what he felt was his cabin.


	22. Adjustments

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 22

Adjustments

It was not common practice for a pirate to become attached to any one person. And Captain Jack Sparrow did not go against this practice. He liked Gibbs, Will and Elizabeth, but his life did not revolve around them by any means.

His new life did hold promise. And it had somewhat affable people. Aside from Mrs Bucket of course. He would have to make some adjustments. A tavern inside the Chocolate room, and women, but other than that, Captain Jack Sparrow could see himself adjusting to this life very well.

There was the problem of freedom. He felt a man was never truly free until he could go anywhere he wanted and do anything he wanted to do. With the Black Pearl he could do that, he did do that.

Jack placed his palms on the dresser and looked at his reflection in the mirror, a vast improvement to be sure, but there was no denying he was not himself. The tanned, weathered skin had been replaced by a pale, soft covering. There was no bandanna and no beads, no pirate brand to make him who he was.

"What have you gotten yourself into Jack, Barbossa would have loved this ay?" Maybe that man was behind it. Jack dismissed the thought, people have no power from the deepest circle of hell.

He was without the Pearl and without his precious freedom. He would have to live a life like Norrington, the thought turned his stomach. Which he noticed growled with hunger. He dismissed it, he had no idea what rooms were what, although his navigation sense was superb, he wasn't going to risk it in an unknown factory.

Jack plopped on the oversized bed with the plush purple comforter. It reminded him of something, but for the sake of censorship, we won't mention what. Jack inadvertently reached for the hat to pull over his eyes. Noticing one wasn't there, he took a pillow and covered his head with it.

Life as a candy maker. What had he ever done to deserve this? He never committed mutiny, never betrayed anybody. Maybe he was being punished for that thing with Scarlett. But he was a pirate after all, certain things were expected from him.

He would make the best of it. He had that boy's help, and what appeared to be the whole world at his disposal. He would use that to his advantage. Captain Jack slowly smirked, "If you're not with the one you love, love the one you're with." With that last thought, the pirate Captain drifted into a dreamless sleep.


	23. Plans and a Bath

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 23

Plans and a Bath

Mr Willy Wonka slipped into his cabin and barred the door behind him. He noticed the tub of water was still steaming, with a fresh bar of soap and a clean towel to its side. Willy quickly undressed and let the warm water wash away the memories of the day.

He thought of poor Charlie and his dear family. Willy Wonka did have attachments, and they were very dear to him. He did not know what he could do. Fate mingled in these two men's lives, and he felt, if it was meant to be, it would mingle again.

The solitary silver hair was the harbinger of things to come. Charlie would just have to cope with what it meant sooner than he thought. He had hoped to train him, teach him his ways. But sometimes hardship is the best teacher, a lesson Willy Wonka knew all too well.

There was the possibility that the rogue was taking over his place in the world, and Willy Wonka felt that was worse than his death. He could not imagine Charlie and the collective Buckets having to deal with a pirate captain.

There was also the chance that he had died, and this was his afterlife. But that really made no sense, unless the rogue died at the exact same time. Still no sense. Mr Wonka shrugged, changed back into his clothes, broach laid aside for the moment, and laid down.

He rolled over on his side and sighed. What was he going to do with the mumbler and the young lady? Maybe they would have to be his new Buckets. That thought saddened him. And where would he be if he could not make chocolates? He had to have something for his creative outlet.

Maybe he could whittle. The thought came to him solely out of thinking about what tools he had. "That would just be dumb." He decided right then and there to take it one day at a time. He would get some more respectable gloves and a top hat, he hoped, in London, and work on it from that point on.

He felt he really needed his psychologist at that moment. He was so good. Willy laid on his back and pretended he was there. "I really miss my factory, but I don't know what to do to get back. And then there's the Mumbler and that girl I imprisoned. I just don't know what to do"

He looked into the black oblivion for inspiration, he found none, so he stared at the ceiling again. "I guess I can try and make this whole icky situation work. Take baby steps. Right now, I'll sleep, and in the morning I'll wake up, shave, and figure out what to do with those people."

He looked back towards the blackness once more. "You're good." He rolled over again and promptly fell asleep.


	24. The End?

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 24

The End?

It was still February 29th. The clock lurked dangerously close to that spellbinding time of 11:11 once more.

All were in deep slumber at the factory, so no one noticed when the power momentarily went out.

All those aboard the Pearl were getting a much needed rest, all that is except for Miss Elizabeth Swann who watched her candle blow out with interest.

As Captain Jack Sparrow and Mr Willy Wonka were sleeping, neither noticed when their minds were put back in their rightful place.

Jack smiled as he smelt the sea and rum, but he did not awake. Willy snuggled tight under his covers. They were home at last.

**First and foremost, let me thank all my wonderful reviewers. I never expected to receive so many. I feel truly special. I was so scared my new chapters were not as good as my last and you guys made me feel otherwise. I apologize for the last chapters not being as humorous as the first, I hope nobody was disappointed. I absolutely loved writing this. It was so much fun. I can not thank you guys enough for taking your time to read my story. I hope you liked it. The thought of continuing it crossed my mind, with each gentleman having to deal with what the other put him through. Maybe an epilogue. Please tell me what you think. And thanks again. **


	25. Captain Jack Sparrow, at last

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

_**I couldn't resist, I had to write two more chapters. This is of course Jack's epilogue, and I hope Willy's will follow shortly. I am sorry for the delay. Thanks once again to all my wonderful reviewers. You guys make writing worth while. Thank you so much, and without further ado:**_

Chapter 25

Captain Jack Sparrow, at last.

Captain Jack Sparrow, who was in fact Captain Jack Sparrow woke up to the sun shining in his cabin. He wiped the sleep from his eyes, looked around, and smiled, he was home. He did not care why or how, but he was home.

He immediately remembered what could have happened and felt his face. He relaxed when he felt his trademark dreadlocks and braided beard. Then the Captain noticed his present attire.

He stood up and literally ripped off his clothes. On not being able to find his regular outfit, Jack tied the dirty towel around his waist and proceeded to go outside.

He was met by Gibbs and a steaming basin of water. "For your bath Captain." "Bath?" Captain Jack looked himself up and down, he was 'squeaky' clean. "I need some dirt Gibbs, and kohl." He hadn't looked at himself in the mirror, But Captain Sparrow was pretty sure his eyes were not rimmed.

To say Mr Gibbs was confused would be a vast understatement. "All right Capn'. Miss Elizabeth wants to talk with ye." "Elizabeth?" "Yes Capn' she's in my cabin."

Jack immediately went in that direction, wearing nothing but the towel on his mid section. Elizabeth without the whelp? His mind only went in one direction. He was a pirate after all.

Jack flung open the door and looked at the half scared to death young woman looking back at him. "You finally decide to leave the boy for a man luv?" She knew instantly he wasn't Mr Wonka anymore. "Jack?" "Who else?"

Miss Elizabeth Swann had every intention of embracing her old friend, but then she remembered who he was; and how he would enjoy that far too much. "We have to save Will." If Jack could have a shilling for every time she said that.

"What?" "You, or rather Mr Wonka, locked him in the brig." Captain Sparrow could not imagine the effeminate man whose body he was in capable of locking anybody in the brig.

A determined Elizabeth brushed past the half naked Pirate and went down to the brig. Jack grabbed a bottle of rum and followed.

Once Jack got down there, Will was already free. "Jack?" "If I didn't like my name so much, I'd have to fight you." "You'd just cheat." Will's smile got increasingly larger as he realized he really was conversing with his friend.

"Pirate." Will mumbled an unintelligible, "Thank God" under his breath. "Don't mumble boy." At the mention of the word 'Mumble,' Will became, well, unhinged.

"I do not mumble, I am not a mumbler or a little boy, and I do not mumble!" As he was yelling at the pirate Captain he unsheathed his sword and pointed it at Jack's throat.

Captain Sparrow swallowed and put the point of his index finger on the tip of the blade. "This would be categorized under stupid, for future reference." Will realized what he had just done and put his sword away sheepishly.

"Sorry Jack." Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief and stood beside Will. "We need your help." "I have been myself for all of ten minutes, and you want me to help you?"

"Yes." Miss Swann never beat around the bush. "Well, what is it?" "We want to sail with you."

"Why lass?" Will blushed and looked at the ground. "I kind of upset Commodore Norrington."

"What did you do boy?" "Well, he was bragging about his swordsmanship, and well, it was rather annoying, and I..." "What did you do?"

"Well, we were dueling and I nicked, or stabbed, or..." "What?" Elizabeth rolled her eyes and looked at Jack.

"Let's just say he now has a lovely singing voice."


	26. A Clean Start

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

_**Willy's epilogue differs greatly from Jack's. I hope you like this one as well. Well, this is the**_

_**official end. Once again, thanks to all of you who read, all my reviews mean so much to me. **_

Chapter 26

A Clean Start

Mr Willy Wonka woke up in his own purple bed and smiled in his perfect way. Then he immediately noticed the hair on his face and ran to his bathroom to shave. He figured that Charlie had shown the rogue the invention room, and the hair tonic. So, shaving was only a temporary solution. But it was a solution.

He sighed in satisfaction when looked like himself again and went to change into his purple and black clothes. He rubbed the gold on his "W" pin, thanking his lucky stars it was all over. He looked at his hands, and went to retrieve a pair of colorful plastic gloves from his drawer. He was now him again. He looked everywhere for his hat and tried to remember where he left it last. Then he remembered, the Buckets'.

Willy grabbed his cane from the stand next to the door, and hummed all the way to the little house in his not so little factory.

"Good morning, Buckets." Mr Wonka said entering the humble shack and caressing his newly found hat. "Mr Wonka?" A small Bucket inquired.

"Yes, Charlie, it's me." The boy went to hug his old and dearly missed friend. Willy didn't need to repeat his mantra, he was home, and he was glad. He even ventured so far as to pat Charlie on the back. His old ways kicked in immediately after.

"Okay, that's enough." Charlie rolled his eyes and took his place at the table, where the Buckets were eating breakfast.

Mr Willy Wonka looked at the family with happiness. Even if he wouldn't admit it, these people meant a lot to him. They were his family, and he just couldn't stand the thought of being without them. He put his hat back and took his seat across from Charlie, overjoyed he was home.

Mr and Mrs Bucket exchanged glances and Mr Bucket hid the morning paper behind his back. This did not go unnoticed by a very sly Willy.

"Whatcha got there?" "Oh nothing, Mr Wonka." "Can I see it?" Mr Bucket ever so slowly handed him the newspaper. All the Buckets looked at the ground as Mr Wonka read the morning's headlines.

"_The famous candy maker, Mr Willy Wonka, was arrested yesterday for making a man a eunuch. Cell mate tells all." _Willy read it several more times before accepting that what he was reading was indeed what he was reading.

He laid the paper down and looked at Charlie. "Um, you're gonna have to explain all this later, kay? And then we're going to have to do some serious damage control. But right now, I just want to sit here and enjoy a quiet meal without weird women, slappers, and mumblers. Okey dokey?"

And Mr Willy Wonka did just that. He then made an antidote to his hair tonic, much to his and that poor Oompa Loompa's relief. The press was only too happy to have an interview with the one and only Mr Wonka, and they retracted their story for the favor. And as for the bartender; well he was persuaded to drop the charges, you see he had a thing for pink sheep.


End file.
